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Submitted on
June 27, 2013
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Shall I Compare Thee To a Summer's Eve? by perselus Shall I Compare Thee To a Summer's Eve? by perselus
For Thou Art A Douche...

This was a painting from 4 months ago that I wasn't planning on publishing it, because it was a gift, a birthday card. I have been so busy with personal problems, and I haven't been doing anything I can publish, so today, going through my files, I came across this art and realized I should publish it. Why not? It's my hard work, I take pride in it, be it good or not, I take pride in my efforts.

I decided to publish it along with the story behind it. I now see humor in it, well at least, I see humor in changing the name to the proper title of the recipient.

I was to meet him in New Orleans, and it was the week of his birthday. I felt bad going there empty-handed, and I though it'd be nice to make him a card. It was with this card that I had a preview of how insensitive and rude he was going to be throughout the trip.

I presented him with the card when we sat to have lunch, and instead of opening it, he just set it on the table and finished going through his messages on his phone. Then after a long time, he decided to look at it. The first thing he did was point out that I put the comma, on the date, in the wrong place. Yes, I made a mistake, probably out of distraction or maybe I always wrote it like that without realizing it. I left the mistake here because I want to keep it wrong that way: March, 15th 2013. The Douche's birthday.

I can't tell people how to behave, but in my Country we say, "When given a free horse, don't check its teeth." There must be an equivalent here in the US.

I like to customize my cards according to the person's preferences and situation. I searched for lots of different references with a New Orleans theme, I made sure the lady was holding a cigarette instead of a drink, like in the reference, because he didn't drink. I thought it'd be a nice touch to put his birthday date on the New Orleans street sign, being the place we were. I also used his favorite colors on the card, brown and purple. All of it didn't even register to him.

He then, proceeded to nitpick on every single detail of the card, made fun of the beads, and mask, which made me feel like an idiot for choosing to do a New Orleans theme, it all felt like a joke.

He laughed at the the font I used, because it made his name look like it started with an L instead of a T. I explained that I thought it would be cool to make it Art Nouveau style, so I searched online for art nouveau fonts. He asked what it was and why I added the fairy at the top, and finally, when he read the inside of it, he disregarded what I wrote, looked at my hand-written signature and asked, "Who's Daytricia?"

I said, "That's my signature!" You can't make fun of the way someone writes their own signature! So what? My P looks like a D? Has he never gotten a gift before, or was it just the way he decided to treat me? I never regretted doing something for someone so much and that was only the beginning of the nightmare. All this led me to the decision that I will never paint anything to another guy, ever. This is my art, and he should be so lucky I devoted any time to paint him something, at all.

The rest is another long story, and if you're ever interested in reading about what kind of date to run from, here's a link of my full account of this incident: [link]
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e-c-h Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013  Professional General Artist
oh GOOD LORD..what a horribly idiotic..moronic..ignorant, arrogant.. I could just go on for ages really :D All I can say is that this card is awesome and amazing, and the fact he couldn't appreciate that work, speaks volumes about what a miserable little twit he is. I bet he was jealous of your talent actually and just decided to belittle you to make up for the intimidation he felt XD
DaraGallery Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
WayInOverMyHead Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I swear, I want to hex his balls off FOR you!!! Okay HE is the one that issues beyond tissues. A whole horde of issues. He'd make some psychiatrist very rich cause it's obvious that he is one flew out the cuckoo's nest.

Please don't let this idiot ruin any of your sweetness, he was not worth the steam of your piss, okay?? Don't even allow yourself to feel badly. Ugh, he reminds me all too well of someone I once knew. All I can say is KARMA.

This card, though, is brilliant. If I were so inclined, lots of asshats would receive this, but that would be giving them attention.
perselus Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much! :0 I didn't let him make me feel bad, I was upset for letting this happen, but it didn't last long because, well, he was just a nothing. But thanks to creativity, I could find a way to make this card look even better when I changed it to the name that actually describes him. :)
imhilien Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
It's a lovely picture and he should have been grateful... from your account, he does sound like a douche. Ouch. :(
perselus Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you. :)
TeddyRadiator Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Professional Writer
Yeah, I think douche just about covers him in all his glorious douchebaggery. Babe, I know you - you do NOT deserve this kind of rubbish. Don't let it kill your creativity. You are one of the most talented people I have had the honour of knowing. Less than an hour ago I was looking at the Her Minder art you did for me, and marveling how stunning it was, and what an awesome person you are.

Yes, this guy's a douche, and he's either going to be a pretty miserably lonely douche, or one of these days he's gonna learn a little something about being a human being. Either way, you are so fortunate to have him OUT of your life.

And by the way - the art? Beautiful. If he couldn't appreciate the talent and wonder that is you, screw him and the bag he came in.
perselus Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you Teddy, you know what I've been through, it seems I tend to get myself in these situations more often than not. Although the other relationship hurt more than this one in the sense that I really cared about him, with this guy, I could care less if he dropped dead, it's just the anger of not having done anything that was frustrating. Plus the fact that the last thing I needed was something this upsetting after the whole thing last year. heh

Thank you for your words! :)
Toblass Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013
You poor dear! I just read the full account.


I have no words to describe how badly I feel for you and how that creep deserves to be swallowed up whole by a giant cell phone. And disappear.
perselus Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
And thank you. :) I've put this behind me and the best way I chose to deal with it was writing it. I only hope he gets everything he did to me, back. Karma has to kick in at some point.
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